love

To unrequited friendship and unspoken love

Years ago, you innocently said “I am a book”.
To which I laughed,I replied “not an open one for sure” and you laughed harder.
~
You look deep into my brown eyes as if trying hard to find the love I conceal under dark kohl.
I irritatingly ask “what?”
“nothing”
“Say it” * please please say it,just once *
“There is something in your eyes”
I blush. * oh wow *  “What?”
“Mucus” and you laugh like a maniac. My chubby maniac.
You always do this. Always kill my moment. I hate you.
Wait. No. I definitely don’t.
~
You pick me up for our parties with friends.
We have a lot of them.
And I know they secretly talk about us. Not so secretly tho.
We party like a crazy bunch. We all are very close.
But then I always sense your darting eyes on me whenever I hit the dance floor. Boy, I can sense your nerve when another guy nears me.
Not as if I like you dancing with any chick.
~
And when the guys of group decide to have an after party. You politely refuse.
I know you like your time with your boys,but you shrug it off.
Is it because you want to get home early or because you like our car rides and coffee more than drinks and games?
~
You take me to car and like a gentleman open door for me,but before I step my foot to get in you push me inside and say I am fat.
I hate you.
No. Ofcourse not.
And before touching the steering,you check your phone. Always.
“Hey we came out really early,we could have stayed sometime more”
I shoot you a stale look.
“Would you like to go for a coffee?” you ask.
I eagerly nod my head in yes, only to get a whack on my back.
~
And then before going inside the coffee shop we decide to sit in the parking. Chatting.
You say stupid things.
I laugh.
We take a few pictures. You pout and I wish the moment freeze. You smile a little wider for next pose and I wish this smile never leave your face.
We get inside the coffee shop and end up ordering food despite of being full. Because it will take time and that will give us more time together.Nobody ever say it though.
You, by now know all my likes and dislikes. You know I prefer vada pao over falafel.
I know you like cold coffee more than hot.
You feed me like mom and then call me fat.
You fight with me for last bite of brownie and at then end let me have it,always.
~
Sometimes we sit in quiet. Not a word.
I hold your hand,you clutch mine harder.
I can feel your nerves your beats,in symmetry of mine.
I think I know you quite too well.
I always sense when you’re hiding something. You can’t deny this fact.
I can sense our unspoken love ruffled in our unrequited friendship.
I think you were right. You are a book. And I am on your last chapter.

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