Lock up all the doors if you please, but there will be no door, no latch, no bolt you can set upon my mind.
Fantasy is a word that patriarch dictionary could never uphold with supreme pride. We joke about it in the buses, with friends over a cup of masala chai, in movies, at every godforsaken place. But still its association with sin and guilt is undeniable.
While the man counterparts are blessed with natural stake to fantasize and demand pleasure imbibed in their XY chromosomes, the XX holders are never once acknowledged of it since the existence of thy time.
Vatsyayana in a very disguised manner stated in the Kamasutra that woman’s sexual passion is eight times greater than that of a man, but never ever had he mentioned kama as a “lady oriented” thing. He further discussed woman’s role in the verse under ‘Veshyadhikaran’ where as a courtesan her duty is to cater pleasure of sex to men and not to derive sensual pleasures for herself out of it.
The sheer contradiction of thoughts here bewilder me to the core of my existence making me punch myself in throat for having to strain my voice box for something that by general reasoning seems to be legit and fundamental.
While the word ‘chastity’ relates to sexual morality irrespective of gender, chastity belts are something that are designed to fit female bottoms only. Maybe them men prefer to lock up their acclaimed estate because their actions fail the ‘love’ from ‘love making’.
The description of Renuka, Menka, Rambha despite of having femininity in all right proportions has always been subscripted under Parvati, the Shakti because the latter ‘requested’ Shiva to revive the god of love, Kama while the formers boldly ‘demanded’ and ‘commanded’ on the face. A desirable woman is to be enjoyed by the counterparts but a desirous woman makes the same act of love, a sin.
Many folklores describes Lilith as a female demon who attacks children but the reasons of her social isolation remain unknown to laypersons. Lilith was infact the first woman ever, before Eve, who refused to be subservient to Adam and hence was cast out to be mother of demons. While the mother of human race, Eve, remained submissive to Adam and thus bore gods as their children. The point being, a man can invite (and in case even force) a woman to bed advancing birth of holy children but vice versa will only bring quandary and misery.
With the modern structure of relationships taking bend in form of open relations, liberal sexting and casual hookups, the phrase goes like “wham-bam thank you ma’am” (dare you replace ma’am with sir, good woman never thank for good sex because they never ask for it in first place).
The episode of ordeal of fire in Ramayana mentions Maya Sita, body double of real Sita who was replaced by illusion of herself created by goddess of fire,Agani, maybe because she would have failed the test of mental chastity despite of being abstained from unlawful intercourse. Sita must have had erotic cravings, undeniably. But public acceptance of such female fantasy can not be welcomed. Draupadi can sleep with her five husbands, each of them desiring her at the notch but she cannot compare their love making because isn’t that equal to contrasting husband’s platonic love for his wife?
A woman who doesn’t desire is superangelic but if she embrace her desires we call her an insatiable witch.
This could be of preferable moral interest for those who profess that lipstick is under burkha because it is to be veiled and not to become a topic of national debate, also the straw can be used to suck toxicating margarita but margarita cannot be intoxicated enough for a female mind to demand and desire.
Sand grains steadily kept falling but the world has not budged more since the medieval ages. Feminism talks will remain crass until the point where women become audacious enough to embrace and voice their sensuality with utmost sense of self-acceptance. I call for man and woman, queer and trans and all the life on the land for that matter to shout out for a celebration of each one of us, a celebration for acceptance of desires.
Moving towards a new sphere of open-mindfulness…
Happy Women’s Day!